Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
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Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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