I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
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She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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