The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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