bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
