Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
