Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
