I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
