I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
well, you know. whores of a feather.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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