i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
