Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just want nice things and good sex
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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