i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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