You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
