u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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