Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What a dumb baby whore.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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