Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
