Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
