he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
