Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
