I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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