Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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