Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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