Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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