I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
