Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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