32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The air was thick with penises
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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