I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
