So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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