I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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