She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
