Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
