lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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