Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
