I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
