We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
