I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
