Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
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Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.