so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?