Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
