chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
