I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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