He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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