I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
