her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
