I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize