Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize