She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
