Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
