You work out of a Hotel?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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