I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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