And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize