There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
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she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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