i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
