I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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