Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
