You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
