But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
