Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
40s are totally the cure
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
