I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
